When You Miss Someone Who Wasn’t Good for You

Missing someone doesn’t mean they were right for you.

It means they mattered to you.

And those two things are not the same.

Many people feel ashamed for missing partners who hurt them, confused them, or couldn’t show up. They think, If they weren’t good for me, why do I still miss them?

Because attachment doesn’t dissolve just because clarity arrives.

Sometimes what you miss isn’t the person.

It’s the hope you had in them.

The version of the future you imagined.

The part of yourself that tried so hard.

This is especially common when you’ve been in trauma-bonded or emotionally unavailable dynamics—patterns I talk about in Why Do I Always Attract Emotionally Unavailable Partners?

And it’s made harder when you’re rebuilding trust in yourself afterward—something I explore deeply in Rebuilding Trust.

Healing doesn’t mean you stop feeling.

It means you stop confusing feelings with direction.

You can miss them…

And still move forward.