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I lost my mojo

After a little more than a year of positive momentum; having courageously stepped into the vision I'd created for myself, crushing my goals; building confidence, competence and expertise in my skillset; having my most successful coaching year yet, operating from flow not hustle; and abundance not scarcity . . . I faltered.

Yup. I lost my mojo.

I allowed thoughts of fear and doubt to creep into my mind. I let my saboteur take the wheel. In a few week's time, I went from my most profitable and in-demand month of my career to avoiding my work; more mind drama than I'd experienced in a while; doubting my skills and competence; discounting many of my past year's triumphs, and ultimately very few clients on my roster. This all happened in the space of a month while I avoided finding out exactly what created these results and instead practiced the bullsh*t thought, "I don't know why I lost my mojo." Suddenly, my brain was making a regressed state the safest place to be and I took the bait. So if I was retreating into a previous comfort zone, what was I retreating from?

Here's how it went down . . .

Around the end of 2019, I decided it was finally time to get serious about building a thriving coaching practice. I was presented with an opportunity to hire a business coach (something I'd never done before) and it made sense to do so since I was finally totally committed to my goal. I was afraid to do something I'd never done before, but I did it anyway, having faith that the result would be worth it.

The past three years of transformation in my business is a direct result of that decision. The skills she taught me, that I practiced and failed at in the beginning, and mastered as I persisted have created the business I'd been dreaming about and sometimes "shoulding" myself about for ten years. I've challenged and supported myself through my previous barriers and fully stepped into my identity as an in-demand life coach.

Over the past few months, I have noticed that I have become really comfortable in my new identity. It's now easy to tell people I'm a life coach and not feel like an imposter. I stopped spinning out in mind drama about helping new clients find me and my ability to help them get results. It feels really good. Lately though, as I've been settling into my identity as an in-demand coach, my gut has been telling me it is time to grow again. I resisted this message because I knew I'd have to get uncomfortable again. But when I was honest with myself, I knew that to be in service to my best interests and those of my community, I need to be expanding into my greatest potential. And I also knew that staying where I am means stagnation and stagnation is not good for any life form. I finally accepted that it is time to grow, but I didn't know how much or exactly how to go about it.

Enter the how . . .

In early November, my coach began sending emails announcing enrollment for her next tier of business coaching. I had been peripherally aware of this next tier when I enrolled in her entry-level tier, but it had always been something way out of my league. While I was still building from nothing, I wouldn't pay much attention to these next tier emails. But when they popped up last month, I started to wonder

I knew that my coach had a minimum twelve-month dollar amount earning requirement to enroll in her next tier, but I wasn't aware of exactly the dollar amount. So, out of curiosity, I clicked on her application and began to fill out the form. Then I got to the part where it asks if you've met the minimum earning requirement . . . and my eyes got wide.

I've earned almost twice the minimum in the past twelve months of coaching!!!

What??? Sh*t just go real.

My stomach dropped. My thought was, "Well, my coach is the expert. And if she says I'm ready to take my business the second tier level, that means it's time to stretch to that level. Okay, I know it's time to stretch, but . . . not THAT MUCH!"


My brain freaked out.

So what did I do?

I started avoiding my work. I started indulging in old, long-abandoned thought patterns like, "I'm not a good enough coach," and "Sometimes clients don't get as good results as other clients, so that means I'm doing something wrong," and "Maybe, I just don't really like doing this anymore and it's time to consider a new career." I mostly spun out in, "I don't know what happened to my mojo."

Yeah. It was that bad.

And because our thoughts create our reality . . .

My business flow stopped dead.

I'm human and I have a human brain. And just like anyone else I'm tempted to bullsh*t myself when I'm faced with a circumstance I'm afraid of. But in the back of my mind, I knew the answer to how I was feeling was to be found in some thoughts I was believing. I knew this because of my coach training. Behavior comes from feelings comes from thoughts. The answer was waiting to be discovered in my mind. I just had to have the courage to look.

But before I could look honestly, I had to process the emotions that were creating my activity . . . or lack of activity.

So I sat with my fear, my dread, my doubt, my insufficiency.

When I finally looked, it wasn't easy to find. It took work and persistence. When I persisted, I found what stole my mojo. It was a thought that was so well-hidden, so surreptitious that I almost gave up looking.

My brain hadn't yet met the version of me that was earning at the level which my coach was telling me it was time to operate. This new idea was bumping up against my mental money ceiling: the amount of money I could see myself earning and being accountable to.

People are NOT afraid of success. That's a myth. They are afraid of what will come with success; whether that's losing something valuable we already have, or gaining something potentially negative as a result of achieving the result.

My brain wanted to protect me from a potentially painful experience. That desire to protect often leads to 'hiding things in the fog.' The current version of me didn't want to know why so it seemed so true when my brain offered me, "I don't know what happened." But the future version of me; my wiser, most courageous self, was observing me and reminding me of who I really am and what I am here to become.

Upon realizing what had actually happened, I felt relief first. There's nothing like the relief of clarity. Then I gave the scared part of me compassion for being afraid; for believing self-limiting thoughts. I reminded myself that fear will always accompany me into unexplored territory and that I can advance forward even when I'm afraid. Then I got to work exploring the new territory.

I started by intentionally visualizing myself earning at the next level. I visualized myself learning and teaching myself how to handle the complexity of a business like that; just like I taught myself and learned how to handle the complexity I now handle. I visualized myself responding powerfully to new situations and circumstances. I visualized myself responsibly and joyfully handling that amount of cash flow. (This is like a mental rehearsal.) I allowed space for the resulting emotions (excitement and fear) to settle in my body. From a place of being excited and a little scared, I got to work figuring out how I could acquire the enrollment investment and travel expenses to the mastermind training.

I am ready to take my service to the next level. I am attending my coach's next tier training. Because ready isn't a feeling. It's a decision. I decide my destiny. So can you.

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